The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

Cops were called to a Savannah Highway 24-hour breakfast spot on June 25 because a drunken man was wandering from table to table yelling profanities. When they asked him to leave, he just sat down in a booth. They finally cuffed him, but he got away and hopped into the back of an SUV being driven by one of his friends. When cops tried grab him again, he kicked and punched them. Luckily, the officers weren’t scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, or topped.

On June 26, a man was heading east on I-26 and attempted to exit at Meeting Street, but found himself in a road rage battle of words with two men in another car. The passenger of the other car fired three shots, one hitting the vehicle, and sped away.

Blotter Threat O’ The Week:

“I’m going to get a gun and take care of some business.”

A man walked into a Spring Street gas station and said to the cashier, “I’m going to steal a soda. Go ahead, call the cops. I’ll be waiting outside.” He grabbed a 20-ounce Mountain Dew and proceeded to drink half of it outside the store. When cops came, he told them that he hoped to be arrested because he wanted help with his drug problem. We can’t decide if he was really smart or really stupid. Guess it depends on his assigned cellmate.

On June 25, six Marines that had just gotten back from Iraq were walking down King Street when a drunken man called one of them, who had been injured and was walking with a cane, a “cripple.” The hurt hero dropped his cane, and the drunk man grabbed it and started running away. The five other Marines chased him down and got the walking stick back from the unpatriotic bastard. Hoo-ah!

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