The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

On July 18, a man was arrested at a Meeting Street grocery store when an employee saw him select and conceal a bottle of Sutter Home wine under his shirt. The man had been previously arrested twice on similar charges. No word on whether the goods included a Prince CD and rose petals.

On July 18, a West Ashley homeowner found a Pontiac Sunfire parked in his front yard with a woman sleeping inside. When awakened, the woman said she didn’t know anyone on the street and had no idea how her car had gotten there. In the car, she found menthol cigarettes, which she doesn’t smoke, as well as medication tabs on the dashboard and white stain on her shirt. She had scratches on her arms and legs that “might” have been from her friend’s dog. Suuuuuuure.

Blotter Threat Stemming Froman Argument Over a Parking Space O’ The Week:

“Next time I willkill you.”

The director of a James Island assisted living center called police on July 14 when a small, black pouch was found in the nurse’s station containing three hollow, plastic tubes, a piece of tinfoil, razors, a glass bottle containing morphine pills and Valium, and a McDonald’s gift card. Because when pharmaceuticals won’t do it for you, a Happy Meal will.

A woman riding her bike on Folly Road on July 14 got scared when a man approached her and said, “I fuck you and then I kill you tonight.” She rode her bike away quickly, and told cops that the guy wants to be her boyfriend, but she always declines..

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