The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

Blotter Excuse for a Gun O’ The Week: “It’s crazy out here, dog. I don’t want anyone taking my life.”

On Sept. 17, a resident of a West Ashley apartment complex noticed that someone had taken a duffel bag from his dining room containing 100 Percocet and 78 Xanax. Oblivion for dinner, anyone?

The bartender of a West Ashley bowling alley saw a man grab the bar’s tip jar on Sept. 16. The man grabbed a handful of bills and gave them to another man sitting nearby. The manager then chased the first man, who was still holding the tip jar, into the parking lot. The second man drank from a pitcher of beer in the bar and was found to have bills stuffed in his pockets. Looks like somebody’s seen The Big Lebowski one too many times.

On Sept. 15, a young girl forgot her purse in Spanish class and returned to find its wallet missing. The poor kid is now without her Hilary Duff wallet, containing $10, two Limited Too gift cards, and a fake New York driver’s license picturing — who else? Hilary Duff.

Blotter Threat O’ The Week: “That’s it. This is war. You better be afraid.”

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