The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

A woman found a dog near her West Ashley apartment on Sept. 24 and took him to the SPCA. Afterward, she started getting phone calls from the dog’s owner, calling her a “fat, white heifer” and saying, “You’re gonna be dead, bitch.”

Blotter Threat O’ The Week: “I will go postal on you and John will be without a mother or a father.”

The manager of a West Ashley steakhouse called the cops on Sept. 22 when he realized that one of his female employees had been adding false tips to credit card receipts. The woman printed duplicate receipts and added a few bucks to the tip line. So far, four customers have complained, and the restaurant has returned all of the money, totaling $37.

On Sept. 23, a woman was on the corner of River Reach Drive, trying to catch a stray dog, when a white work van pulled up next to her. A man opened the sliding door and asked, “Can you please get in the van?” When the woman refused, the man grabbed the wallet from her hand and said, “Have a nice day.” Miss Manners says, “Ease the sting of a larceny with perfect etiquette.”

Blotter Explanation O’ The Week: “I’m going to jail because I only hit my grandmother twice.”

Stay cool. Support City Paper.

City Paper has been bringing the best news, food, arts, music and event coverage to the Holy City since 1997. Support our continued efforts to highlight the best of Charleston with a one-time donation or become a member of the City Paper Club.