The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

A man called a Meeting Street bank on Nov. 6 and asked for the names of the managers of the bank’s branches in Summerville, Charleston, and Mt. Pleasant. The teller gave him the names, and the man said, “Tomorrow I am going to shut down the branches.” He hung up, but then called back one minute later to say, “Do not tell anyone what we talked about. If you tell anyone, I will know.” If he had any doubts, he’ll definitely know she told now.

A woman checked into a West Ashley motel on Nov. 3, leaving her debit card at the front desk as payment. She and her guests were heavily intoxicated for the next four days, during which ambulances had to be called several times. Finally, the woman was asked to leave because of the commotion. When her card was swiped for $388.69, it was declined. Lindsay Lohan still hasn’t paid us back for that weekend, either.

Blotter Threat O’ The Week: “If you touch my fucking niece, I’ll kick your fucking ass.”

On Nov. 6, a woman’s car was in the parking lot of a Folly Road gym when it was broken into. The passenger window was smashed, and the woman’s fanny pack was taken. An even more heinous crime: owning a fanny pack.

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