The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

On Dec. 8, cops noticed several people underneath the I-26 overpass near Huger Street. One of the men quickly zipped up his pants and buckled his belt. “I was taking a shit,” he explained. The officer tried to arrest the man, who ran away, all the while yelling, “I was taking a shit!” As if it were ever in question…

A local band student couldn’t find her $600 clarinet after leaving it in a storage room on Dec. 11. One guess where it might be. This one time in middle school….

Blotter Unfortunate Statement to a Cop O’ The Week: “You motherfuckers can suck my dick.”

On Dec. 11, a cook at a West Ashley restaurant was driving to work when he saw his recently estranged wife walking near the car. She approached the vehicle and broke the passenger window. When her man got out of the car, she stabbed him twice through the right forearm with a kitchen knife. At least she didn’t go all Lorena Bobbitt on him.

A downtown woman was accused of stealing $100 from a male acquaintance on Dec. 12. When officers arrived on the scene, she said she didn’t have any of the man’s money and began pulling items out of her pockets to prove it. One of the items she produced was a credit card, reported stolen in October. And they say criminals are getting smarter?

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