Hospitality Smackdown O’ the Week:

An employee was closing up at a downtown restaurant when he accidentally knocked over a food cart. The part-time chef allegedly came out of the kitchen screaming and punched the careless worker four times in the face.

Odd Five-Finger Theft O’ the Week:

36 nutcrackers.

Two weeks ago we reported the theft of two tuxedoes. Looks like the suit bandit has struck again! On May 21, a man reported that someone had broken into his car and stolen a dark blue suit jacket, a brown Chaps jacket, a seersucker blue and white jacket, and a black tuxedo. I’m sure he’s a nicely dressed perp — as long as he isn’t wearing all of them at the same time.

A security officer at a local tourist attraction reported that his utility belt was lifted from his locked car, though there was no sign of forced entry and the car was locked when he found the belt was missing. The utility belt items included: a 9mm Glock with a full clip of hollow point ammunition and two clips of target ammunition, three sets of handcuffs, a Stinger stun gun, a M6 flashlight, an expandable baton, mace, and a flip-out 4-inch knife. The officer says he thinks it may be one of two disgruntled workers … or maybe it’s someone looking to invade Daniel Island.

Worst Neighbor O’ the Week:On May 16, a man reported that his construction trailer had been stolen. A neighbor reported seeing someone with a sledgehammer swinging at the lock, but he thought it was the victim’s brother, so he didn’t do anything about it.

On May 12, a man reported that his lawnmower had been stolen. Two days later he found the lawnmower at a local pawn shop, but he still doesn’t know who stole it. On May 18, he came home to find a new lawnmower where the last one had been when it was stolen. A note attached read: “Sorry!! I had no right in here. Please 4 give me. Please drop tha charge. Have mercy on my soul.”

iPods stolen this week: Four

A moped was stolen on May 18. It has the following stickers on it: “Yoda Loves Me,” “N’Shit,” “,” and “Jesus Wasn’t White.” Police should be on the lookout for Darth Vader, Joey Fatone, any member of Daughtry, or the ghost of Jerry Falwell.

Threat O’ the Week: “I’ll deal with you like a man.”

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

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