Ironic Theft O’ The Week:

A Criminal Justice textbook

Excuse O’ the Week:

A man pulled over for driving under the influence told officers in advance that he would try the alphabet test, but that English wasn’t his native language. He then failed the test, starting with “ADAFG.” Things went downhill from there.

A man was charged with shoplifting work gloves at Home Depot. You know how you get free work gloves at Home Depot? Fill out an application and get a job!

An unknown person slashed all four tires on a woman’s car. She told police she had an argument with her ex-boyfriend the night before. Clues to the relationship troubles came when she couldn’t provide her ex’s birthday or his address.

A West Ashley man reported that his home had been broken into. The only thing missing was his laptop, but the victim noted that the bed sheets had also been “disturbed.” Remember the days when Goldilocks just took the porridge?

An 18-year-old reported that his friend accidentally shot him in the face with a BB gun. According to the report, the friend pointed the BB gun at his face and pulled the trigger. That’s not how accidents happen. That’s how busted-lipped idiots happen.

Four friends were leaving the MOJA Block Party when they were allegedly attacked in the street by 11 other women. It’s like Girls Gone Wild meets Hobo Wars, except without the Jello shots and flaming trash cans.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a
little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too.
No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

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