EVENT | Dress to kill… Or be killed!

The recent zombie outbreak has continued to spread across the peninsula since the first members of the undead were spotted exiting Magnolia Cemetery last Thursday. Law enforcement officials are bracing for one of the most intense zombie influxes yet on Wednesday night. Officers were tipped off by the few remaining live staff members at Charleston City Paper, who have managed to survive by wearing lots of zombie makeup. The sources claim that there will be a gathering at the Bus Shed on Wednesday night to celebrate the individuals and companies voted best in the city, most of whom, tragically, fell prey to attacks by the undead during photo shoots for the Best of Charleston issue. As 10 p.m. approaches, the growing crowd of zombies is expected to spill onto the surrounding streets to feed on drunken bar-hoppers and unsuspecting tourists. Downtown bars Charleston Beer Works (468 King St.), Torch (545 King St.), the Black Cart (54 John St.), Club Pantheon (28 Ann St.), and O’Malley’s (549 King St.) are all rumored to be undead-friendly, and will be offering specials and prize giveaways to zombies. Authorities strongly urge peninsula residents to remain in their homes with the doors locked and black-out curtains on the windows. If you must leave your home, it is absolutely imperative that you be wearing the disguise of the walking dead, if you don’t want to end up being their midnight snack. You’ve been warned. March 5, 10 p.m.-2 a.m. (843) 577-5304.

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