1. It’s morning. Your car breaks down. What do you do?

A. Get a ride from a colleague

B. Walk or cycle to work

C. Ditch work and go on a beer run in your pickup

2. You realize you’ve accidentally put some recyclable cardboard in your regular trash. Do you:

A. Root through the garbage, get your hand covered in coffee grains and spaghetti sauce, and give up

B. Root through the garbage, dig out the cardboard, clean it up, and put it in the recycle bin

C. Root through the garbage, find that turkey leg left over from yesterday’s dinner, and have yourself a snack

3. Your drink of choice is:

A. Bud Light, America’s most popular beer

B. Kujawiak, a green-friendly Polish beer mixed with pure water

C. Just gimme a beer already (but if there’s a choice, make it Natty Light)

4. You’re choosing your first home with your spouse. Do you pick:

A. A small starter home to save on bills

B. A small, energy-efficient home to restrict your global footprint

C. A double wide ‘cos that’s all you and your cousin have been dreaming about since your wedding day

5. Your bumper sticker reads:

A. Would somebody please give Bush a blow job so we can impeach him?

B. Re-Elect Al Gore

C. Elect Kid Rock

6. Your tattoo says:

A. Nothing. You don’t have any tattoos

B. Nature Lover

C. 3

7. When you fish, you take:

A. Your dad’s old Fenwick fishing rod

B. A Carrot Stix rod (made from carrot compounds) and an all-metal reel

C. A stick of dynamite and a burlap sack

8. Your favorite sports star is:

A. Tiger Woods

B. Lance Armstrong

C. Michael Vick

9. You’re hungry. You go to the kitchen and grab:

A. An apple you bought from Wal-Mart

B. A locally grown strawberry

C. Some beef jerky to dip in a jar of mayo

10. When you dispose of your garbage, you use:

A. A trash bin

B. Biodegradable refuse sacks

C. A bonfire on your front lawn


Mostly As: Congratulations. You’re an average American.

Mostly Bs: Congratulations. You’re ecologically aware. Give yourself a pat on the back for helping to keep the planet clean!

Mostly Cs: Congratulations. You can read.

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