The Official Beer of Nascar?

-I saw that Coors is the Official Beer of Nascar. How can an activity that involves driving 180 mph have an official beer?

– I get so embarrassed if my credit card is declined. Like the seventeen year old at the cash register is going to judge me and think I’m a loser. I always pretend like I was expecting that to happen. “Thank you for checking that for me. I needed to make sure it wasn’t still working. This is the one I wanted you to use. That one has been declined too? Great. That is good. It’s probably because I’m shopping outside of my zip code. My bank is protecting me. Can I write you a check?”

-I have a friend who is a scientist, and he’s always giving me too much information on things. He said to me:

“Do you know dandruff is actually a fungus eating away at your scalp?”

and I said:

“No more Parmesan cheese for me waiter, thank you.”

While that is incredibly disgusting, it is also a brilliant marketing idea for Head and Shoulders. Just say:

Head and Shoulders-Fungus is Eating You Scalp.