I recently took a six am flight to North Carolina, and a six am flight back to New York.  I enjoy flying at six am.  No lines, no delays.  The only problem is after I tell my wife about the six am flight she refuses to have sex with me.   Women on six am flights have the same facial expressions- a mix of exhaustion and figuring out how to kill her husband for booking this flight.  It’s only men who will book a flight at that time of the day to save a little money.  Men just see the black and white of the money being saved.  Women take into account that two days are going to be ruined in the process.

Six am flights are the best because all the passangers have the same objective in mind: get me back to sleep.  And you know the person sitting next to you won’t be chatting you up.  “Where are you coming from?”  “Bed you moron.”

This is how I want the people I am flying with.  Not jacked up, ready to go.  Not sitting around all morning, imagining all the terrible scenarios that could play out, arguing with the flight attendants in their head.  Not fighting rush hour traffic and driving around, searching for parking.  I want them so tired that they pass out as soon as the cram their carry on into the over head bin.  I want everyone acting like it’s an hour after Thanksgiving dinner, and the coffee has worn off and the food coma starts to kick in.

Those are the people I want to be flying with.  And if it prevents me from having sex for a little while, so be it.

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