I hate the half-speed metronome embedded in all the locals. Yes, I’m from off, in the modern world, where the human metronome is tick-tock-tick-tock, not tick [short pause] tock [short pause] tick [short pause] tock. I’m sure the slower metronome made perfect sense in the 1800s when the heat could kill you if you moved too fast, so you took your clue from your slow-walking pappy. But it’s 2009, OK, so move it. Yes, I’m talking to you folks [y’all] at the traffic light after the light changes. Push harder on the pedal. Maybe the guy four cars back is in a hurry to use the bathroom.



