If the men’s room at the College of Charleston’s otherwise very nice library is any indication about the health and vitality of the next generation, the future of the United States is in deep trouble. I go there every Saturday morning. I’m not a college student but it’s a public building. Back to the bathroom: Have young men heard of washing themselves after relieving themselves. Do they wonder why they are sick, why their coughing, which echoes throughout, sounds like snapping strands of wet fettucini? It could be that, um, you don’t wash your hands after unloading last night’s all-you-can-eat burrito buffet.

It’s a simple thing, really. Yet perhaps mom and dad failed to instruct. So here you go: 1) Step up to sink, 2) turn on hot water, 3) puts hands under water, 4) apply soap, 5) work it into a later, 6) rinse and repeat as need be.

The future of America depends on you. It’s only six steps. That’s not too hard, especially for a college student. But then again, maybe I lost after step No. 5.

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