I don’t believe all that Jiminy Cricket who-ha, all that “When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true,” wave-a-magic-wand crap. But let me tell you, I ran into a fairy this weekend outside of a computer store. There was a long line to get in; evidently folks were all Sales Tax Holiday sex nuts and retard strong, so the shop set up a velvet rope. Fine. I get it. It was crowded. The thing is all I needed was to exchange a battery for my computer. Like in and out … and, um, please ignore the fact that I opened the box. I really don’t want to pay a restocking fee. Well, it was then that the Fairy Bouncer (he was wearing rainbow-colored fairy wings after all) sent me in to chat with a fellow who would solve all my troubles. And he did. I left the store with a new battery in hand, and I didn’t have to pay the restocking fee. And it took less than five. Thank you, Tink.

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