BLOTTER O’ THE WEEK: A man arrested for burglary claimed that he found a leopard print shoe on the ground in front of a house and just came in to return it. Dude, you can say you were looking for its match. No judgments here.

Police investigating a possible break-in spoke with a neighbor, who stated that he found a white-striped dress shirt and a trucker cap outside his front door. Hey, don’t blame Ashton Kutcher. He had to choose between a life of crime or a direct-to-DVD movie with Wesley Snipes.

A domestic dispute began over the contents of a letter a man was writing to his family. Well, there are a few more exciting lines for the Christmas card next year.

If there is one person you don’t want to ask for money on the street corner, it’s the chief of police. A woman who wasn’t familiar with the commanding officer was arrested for soliciting without a permit.

A woman phoned police when she found that someone had broken into her car and moved it a few spaces down from where she had parked. This is either a botched attempt at hide-and-seek or proof that car thieves can experience something similar to buyer’s remorse.

Quote O’ The Week: Police arrived at the scene of an alleged altercation, finding a man yelling and waving his arms back and forth with dollar bills spread across the gas station counter and a large winter jacket and T-shirt laying on the floor. He reportedly told officers, “I know I’m drunk, but that doesn’t have anything to do with this.”

Items Stolen This Week: Five bikes, a GPS unit, a laptop, and an iPod.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

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