BLOTTER O’ THE WEEK: A man told police they could search him. He didn’t have anything on him, but there were four plastic baggies around his feet full of marijuana. The officer asked if they were his and he said, “Yeah, I’ll take the hit for this one.”

A victim told police she wanted to press charges after another student pushed her over in class. The victim told police that she stood up, “grabbed his shit,” and said, “Don’t let it happen again.”

After failing three roadside sobriety tests, a DUI suspect told police that he was done “playing.” What? You’re quitting before Plinko?!

The victim in a vehicle break-in told police the unknown thief left his GPS and other valuables but stole his gym bag and workout clothes. Apparently, the folks at the gym were getting suspicious of the Hamburgler’s regular outfit.

Items Stolen This Week: Four iPods, three bikes, and two laptops.

Quote O’ The Week: “Oh, shit. That’s ecstasy.” Why the shock, dude? It’s yours. We should also note there was no similar exclamation when officers found marijuana in the car, so at least he remembered that stash.

The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

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