I think it’s high time someone tells everyone what it’s like to work in a pizza shop, what we deal with on a day to day basis, why we do what we do, and how you can get the most exceptional service from your local pizza chain.
1. Drivers work for tips. They are paid less than minimum wage per hour and they do not get the delivery charge. About half of the delivery charge goes to reimburse the driver for gas, the other half goes to the store. The delivery charge is there to dissuade you from ordering for delivery. The store’s labor costs are lower if you pick it up.
2.I am amazed at the number of people who do not know to tip, and drivers remember everyone who doesn’t. I have heard drivers plotting against repeat offender stiffs. I wouldn’t waste my time doing that, but sometimes immature people do immature things to stiffs to get back at them. I’ve seen houses and cars egged, a collection of lawn ornaments stolen from various stiffs houses, and unfortunately I have heard of people tainting the food with things you don’t want to know.
3. Driver’s do not stand around and wait to deliver pizzas. We also take orders, run the register, man the oven, prep food, clean the store, wash dishes, fold boxes, door-hang coupons, put away trucks, and we even make the pizzas.
4. Pizza delivery drivers are the #3 most murdered on the job in America. We have to take many precautions to prevent getting robbed.
5. Please turn on your porch light at night, and make sure you have visible address numbers on your house. No driver likes squinting in the dark for numbers and we get paranoid when there are no lights on, sometimes we will not deliver it.
6. If we sometimes seem tired or stressed, it’s because drivers work as long as they are needed. It is not uncommon to pull an 11 hour shift. That’s sometimes equivalent to an 11-hour drive.
7. We deal with bad drivers, drunk drivers, crazy drivers, cell phone drivers ,teenage drivers, ambulances, trains, stalled trains, accidents, stalled traffic, traffic light outages, funeral processions, snow, ice, rain, thunderstorms, lightning, hail and many other road hazards and time delays on a daily basis. We see a lot of accidents!
8. Please stay home until I deliver your pizza. Time is money, so don’t get mad at me if I don’t wait for you to come back from your beer run. I have other deliveries in my car.
9. Turn the music down so you can hear us knocking/the doorbell.
10.Don’t let your dog jump all over me.
11. Please don’t say keep the change when you are giving me less than a dollar. It’s insulting.
12. Don’t have your kid pay for it. The pizza is usually hot and or heavy and a lot of times they keep the tip. Please don’t let your child place the order. 9 times out of 10 the child tells the parent the wrong price or tells us the wrong pizzas and you get angry with us at the door. Just order it yourself, please. This is a business and we don’t like wondering if we are being pranked by kids.
13. Don’t take it out on us if your order is late. A lot of the time it is because the store is understaffed. They should quote accurate times. If you order online, the quote will not be accurate. You can ask for a credit or gift certificate or free item when your order is late. If you’re polite, we will be more likely to do our best to make you happy. And believe it or not, we want you to get your food on time.
14. Answer your phone if you do not recognize the number. It’s us calling to make sure we bring the right condiments, drinks or we may be calling to figure out why we can’t find your house. Sometimes we call to let you know we are on the way.
15. Please keep your clothes on. Nobody likes delivering to someone who is naked or half-naked. Spouses and boyfriends and girlfriends of the drivers do not appreciate it either. What the hell is with this phenomenon? What are you thinking!!??
16. We drive our own cars and we do not get reimbursed for parts that wear out quickly, oil changes, tire changes, ect.. we also pay a higher insurance premium.
17. You can find coupons on our website, in the paper, and in the phone book. You could always ask about or specials or if we have a coupon for what you want to order. We aren’t allowed to give a discount if you don’t ask for one..so please ask!! I like helping people out, because I know pizza is expensive. Oh and please tip on the amount before the discounted price. I deliver so many free or 1/2 price pizzas without ever seeing a tip that it’s starting to make me want to stop offering discounts.
19. We are not a bunch of stoners and drop-outs. My store drug tests, performs background checks, and requires a clean driving record. Some of us have other jobs. One of the guys I work with is also a cop. So think about that next time you try to rob us, sell us your drugs or answer your door naked.
18. Please tip a little more if it’s nasty weather. For some reason, I make the worst tips on miserable weather days, and I’m starting to wonder if the people who order and stiff when it’s pummeling icicles or is hotter than satan’s kitchen out are just mean @ssholes sent to ruin my day.
19. Before you complain about prices, think about this. How much does it usually cost to feed your family in a restaurant? Can you feed your whole family for $20-$40 bucks?
19. Sometimes people get upset when we tell them we don’t offer dirt cheap ready-to-go pizzas. Why not? Because we prefer to serve freshly baked pizzas instead of ones that have sat under a heat lamp all day. Quality and freshness is our forte.
20. We know if you are calling and complaining to us to try to get something for free when we did not screw your order up, and we keep track of everyone who does. We know if you really did order last night or not. We know how many times you have done this. We keep records of these things, and we have caller ID and we keep addresses on file.
21. Lastly some people wonder why in the heck we like our jobs. It’s one of the few entry-level jobs where you can make a decent living, provided people tip decently. I am a college student working 4 days a week and making more than most full time cashiers and retail workers. We don’t do as well as most servers or bartenders but our job is not easier or more difficult. (A common argument) Our jobs are dangerous and challenging sometimes. I enjoy driving, listening to music and the freedom my job offers, I like working with people and being able to escape them in the comfort of my car when I want to. I can enjoy the nice weather when it’s nice.
Although a lot of this is ranting, I made this a love message because I do love my customers. I just want them to know what we go through to deliver you a hot, fresh, delicious pizza.

-Pizza Slinger

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