The mighty media machine is all hot and bothered today thanks to a case of cat scratch fever courtesy of Ted Nugent, the notorious axe-wielding Motor City Madmen, celebuhunter, and Mitt Romney backer.

As you’ve probably heard by now, Nugent threatened to kill President Barack Obama, but as much as the 24-hour news-cycle organ grinders want you to believe that’s what the Nuge said, it’s not.

While it’s true that during a sit-down interview at a recent National Rifle Association event Nugent said that if Obama gets re-elected in November he’ll be “dead or in jail by this time next year,” he didn’t mean it as a threat to Obama. Nope.

If you understand Nugent’s comments as coming from the mind of a paranoid, doomsday-prepping survivalist who lives in a padded-cell cabin in the wilderness and anticipates the apocalypse in the same way you and I look forward to a happy-hour beer, you’ll quickly realize what the Motor City Madman was really talking about: He’s scared shitless that Darth Obama will send his army of freedom-hating stormtroppers to take away his blasters and send him off to one of the Empire’s work camps on Tatooine, where he’ll be beaten within an inch of his life before finally being tossed into the sarlac pit like a soiled and deflated Princess Leia blow-up doll.

Of course, none of that changes the fact that Ted Nugent is a pedophile who bedded a 17-year-old girl after convincing her parents to allow him to become her legal guardian. Why Mitt Romney would even take this yahoo’s call is beyond me.

Here’s a clip from the Nuge’s Behind the Music episode, in which his fondness for underage girls is discussed. Even his past 17-year-old paramour Pele Massa admits that their relationship would be criminal by today’s standards.

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