Every time Lindsey Graham rears his little angry turtle head on one of the Sunday morning talkers, the City Paper gets a bump in traffic thanks to the hordes of folks out there who want to know if Lil’ Linds is gay. Of course, we don’t know if he is or isn’t, but we wrote a story a while back examining the speculation that South Carolina’s senior senator was “too light in the loafers to fill Strom Thurmond’s shoes” — or at least that’s how Dick Harpootlian, the homophobic head of the S.C. Democratic Party, put it.

We’ve also begun to notice a rather curious trend when one of Graham’s Senate cohorts is on the tellie. Whenever Sen. Rand Paul is on TV, all of a sudden the Twitterverse is all a-twitter about Paul and his curiously coiffed head. You’ve seen it, right? It’s like Shatner’s rug matted with a baby lamb, which means that it’s a thing of beauty.

And if there is anything this ugly world truly needs more of, it’s beauty. So we’ve decided to give a few celebrities and VIPs the Rand Paul treatment. If you’ve ever wanted to see Barack Obama get Randed, read on. (Warning: Piss poor photoshoping ahead.)


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