Blotter o’ the Week: Somebody stole 1,900 feet of power cord from the Festival of Lights display at James Island County Park. Seems like a surefire way to get a lump of coal for Christmas.

When a police officer caught a man drinking a 40-ounce can of beer in a public park at 8 a.m., the man said that he was upset because he had lost his iPad.

DUI Bar Tab o’ the Week: A man who was being tested for driving under the influence told police that he had consumed “two or three cranberry and vodka mixed drinks” at a bar and that, on a drunkenness scale of 1 to 10, he was about a 4. Then he blew into a Breathalyzer, which revealed a blood alcohol content of 0.16 percent, twice the legal limit for driving.

Stolen From Homes This Week: $6,000 worth of copper pipes and wiring, $200 in cash, a smartphone, a Vera Bradley purse, a pair of Steve Madden sandals, a Coach wallet, two credit cards, a debit card, a car key fob, a flannel jacket, and 30 feet of copper tubing.

Somebody splattered the front door of an art studio with red paint. Art or vandalism? You decide.

When a police officer found some weed in a man’s pocket during a search, the man said, “Man, I forgot I had that.” Bummer, dude.

After getting caught with 11 grams of crack cocaine in his vehicle, a man boasted to a police officer, “You only got me with half of what I had tonight. I sold the other half already.”

A man was seen shoplifting a 1.75L bottle of vodka. Store employees described the man as a regular who comes into the store “at least once a day, if not multiple times a day.” Guess he’ll have to become a regular at some other liquor store now.

Stash o’ the Week: Police found drug paraphernalia inside a blue lunchbox on the floorboard of a car.

A police officer caught a man wearing a polo and khaki shorts peeing in a parking lot around 1 a.m. The man took off running and was found hiding in some bushes several blocks away. Once in custody on charges of public urination and resisting arrest, the man told the officer he was sorry for running, but that he “thought it would be fun.”

Five men reportedly approached a man on the sidewalk around 10 a.m. and asked him for his cell phone. When he refused, one of the men punched him in the face, and then the others kicked him while he was on the ground. The man was able to run away and tell other people to call police. When he returned to the scene of the crime, he found his cell phone on the ground “in pristine condition,” according to an incident report.

Grocery store employees caught a woman shoplifting two blocks of cheese. Everyone knew she was up to no gouda.

A witness says that a man driving a pickup truck managed to run into three different vehicles parked on the same street and then drive away. The suspect is a Citadel cadet who was out of his barracks on an overnight pass.

A man leaned his bicycle against a fence without a lock while he was at work. When he left work, the bike was gone.

Somebody broke into a vehicle and stole an amplifier, a subwoofer, and $5 worth of change from the glove compartment.

After a police officer spotted a man with an open container of beer walking on the sidewalk, the man tried to hide himself inside a port-a-potty. He eventually came out and fessed up.

A man is accused of shoplifting seven bags of shrimp and a bag of scallops from a grocery store. The whole incident was fishy.

Somebody damaged a fence that was made of cinder blocks and mortar. Police found a North Carolina driver’s license on top of the fence.

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