Tonight’s 5 p.m. Charleston City Council meeting doesn’t look like it’s going to be one of the more riveting public meetings of 2015. Still, you should make a belated New Year’s resolution to attend one this year (or at least watch one online), if only to partake in the City Council Drinking Game. The rules are below.*
Before you go to a meeting, be sure to visit City Council’s website and take a look at the agenda. Meetings take place almost every other Tuesday at 80 Broad St., although four meetings a year are held at other locations to make it easier for people outside of downtown to attend (click here for the 2015 schedule). And there’s always something interesting on the table.
Tonight, for example, six different taxi and limousine companies will apply for licenses — and no, Uber is not one of them. Council will vote on whether to rezone a sizeable chunk of post-industrial land in the Neck for use in a planned unit development, a possible step forward for redevelopment on the old Magnolia site. And if you show up early for the Ways and Means Committee meeting at 4:30, you’ll hear about the Police Department’s grant applications to fund a thermal fingerprint enhancement system, continue paying a criminal domestic violence investigator, and continue funding two police officers on the DUI Task Force.
Look, public meetings can be a drag (trust us, we know), but local government doesn’t work unless people like you get involved. So do your part, Charleston! And bottoms up!
Take a swig from your hip flask if:
• A citizen calls Mayor Joseph P. Riley Jr. a snake, the devil, or a vampire
• Somebody uses the phrase “low-hanging fruit”
• A bicyclist is angry about something
• Police Chief Greg Mullen says the word “bar”
• Anybody talks hyperbolically about a cruise ship
• A public commenter goes over the time limit
Shotgun a beer if:
• Mayor Riley bangs his gavel
• You catch a glimpse of City Planner Tim Keane’s haircut and think for a moment that Willem Dafoe is in the room
• Somebody has to explain to a City Council member how iPhones work
• A developer wants to build a hotel
• Anybody mentions Condé Nast Traveler or tourist city rankings
• A public commenter is standing too far away from the microphone
• Somebody in the audience tries to give you a pin or sticker for a cause
• A South of Broad resident complains about tourists
• Mayor Riley uses the word “wonderful”
Excuse yourself to the bathroom and rip a bong hit if:
• A City Council member makes a lengthy speech (10 minutes or longer) about the need to stop talking and make a decision
• Horse rectal thermometers are discussed
• Anybody mentions Daniel Island
* We’re pretty sure drugs and alcohol are not allowed in the beautiful and historic council chambers, so, just in case, consider this our disclaimer that we in no way endorse the smuggling of booze or marijuana into a city government building.
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