Blotter o’ the Week: Around 2:30 a.m., an officer saw a man twirling a pair of nunchucks around in the middle of a crowded sidewalk. The man then grabbed a handkerchief out of the pocket of a passerby. After the officer arrested him on a disorderly conduct charge, the man said he had been trying to start a fight with the hanky’s owner because he was a hipster.

When asked why his car smelled like marijuana, a man told a police officer, “I’m a landscaper, and I have grasses and herbs in and out of my vehicle all the time.” Also, he had weed in the vehicle.

A landlord called police after one of her tenants complained that their floor and wall had been damaged by a gunshot. An officer knocked on the door of the apartment the gunshot had come from, and a man inside said that “his daughter had been startled and discharged a 12-gauge shotgun into the ceiling.” The daughter said she had never held a firearm before and that it fired into the ceiling when she picked it up.

Witnesses say a man with a cane walked up to a public pool and started yelling profanities and shouting, “Where all the black kids?” A swim coach who was at the pool says the man called him a “lazy white ass,” and a pool manager says the man assaulted him. A police officer arrested the man and noted that he smelled like alcohol.

Open Containers o’ the Week: A bottle of apple-flavored ale on the sidewalk in front of a pizza joint, a mini-bottle of whipped cream-flavored vodka on a park bench, and a nearly empty 750 mL bottle of Canadian whiskey behind a car’s front passenger seat.

Somebody stole a 12-gauge shotgun from the toolbox in the back of a pickup truck. The owner says he may have forgotten to lock the toolbox.

Somebody stole a bright pink moped with a sticker on the front that says “Pussy.”

A bicyclist ran into a parked car and left an 8-inch dent in the side panel.

A police officer was walking past a bar and saw a man slurring his words while yelling cuss words at the employees. The man walked out of the bar, shoving the officer with his shoulder as he walked past. When the officer tried to stop the man, he started swearing again, so the officer cuffed him. While they were walking to the cop’s vehicle, the man made his legs go limp and then “growled in a loud and boisterous manner, showed his teeth, and lunged … towards [the officer’s] neck and face chomping his teeth together,” according to an incident report.

A hospital nurse called police after one of her patients pooped out a plastic baggy containing a gram of cocaine.

A bicyclist told police he was riding in traffic when a man in an SUV started honking at him, so he flipped the driver the bird. The driver then followed him as he turned left onto another street and rammed his rear tire, causing him to fall off the bicycle and scratch his hand, elbow, and leg. The bicyclist got back up and memorized the driver’s license plate number.

When a cop caught a man peeing behind a trash can near the street, the man said, “Oh shit, I gotta go. I just got caught pissing by a cop.” When asked why he didn’t use the restroom in a nearby bar, the man said that he “needed to use his phone,” according to an incident report.

Four days after April Fool’s, a man walked into a restaurant’s walk-in cooler, stole a case of light beer and a bottle of vodka, and tried to run away. When a police officer caught up to him, he still had the beer but they couldn’t find the vodka, and he told them, “I only took the beer as a prank.” The restaurant’s manager apparently did not get the joke.

Somebody poured flour into the gas tank of a pickup truck.

A shirtless man was seen walking down a street at 7:30 a.m. yelling at people. When a police officer found the man, he had a big ol’ urine stain on the front of his pants. The officer arrested him on public drunkenness and disorderly conduct charges.

Somebody broke the window on a truck and stole a bottle of Adderall from the center console and a 12-gauge shotgun from the passenger seat.

A man was walking down the street when a stranger stepped out of a restaurant and asked if he had change for a $100 bill. He handed the stranger three $20s and a $10, and the stranger handed him a $100. Turned out it was a counterfeit $100 bill.

Three weekends in a row, someone has stolen lumber from some neighboring home construction sites. The construction company estimates that the value of the lumber is about $6,000.

A police officer stopped a man who was walking down a busy sidewalk at 1:17 a.m. holding an open beer can in one hand and flicking off pedestrians with his other hand. The man told the officer he was having a bad day.

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