Much like the Battle of Puebla, last week was all about France and Mexico. For Cinco de Mayo, we went OFF. Literally. We took a couple of days off work to deliberately over-celebrate the occasion. It all started at Mex 1 Coastal Cantina. There we witnessed a choking child that really alarmed us. Luckily the child was OK and once recovered took back his headphones and iPad as most children seem to do in restaurants these days. Next we went to Minero and had probably the second best marg of the day. After that, it was time to drop off the car and Uber to La Hacienda for chips and a mostly sugar margarita. We almost threw in the towel with that, but we were on a mission. The largest crowd per capita was met at our next stop at Juanita’s. The restaurant had a bouncer at 4 p.m., and they were serious. More margs, etc. Then it was off to Taco Boy, where we changed it up for a second with a frozen screwdriver. The key here is to get the Grand Mariner floater for maximum enjoyment. Well fortified, we then summoned our beloved Uber driver to take us to our final destination: Santi’s. The Mexican spot always throws a block party — and it’s technically free. You simply need to pay for the drinks and the food is yours for the taking. It was a hard concept for some interlopers to understand, but if you are familiar with Santi, you know he’s probably the most giving man on the planet.

After an almost comical amount of queso, Santi left his cleanup crew to deal and we embarked for Midtown, because when one thinks Cinco de Mayo, one thinks Midtown. With the line wrapped around the building, we didn’t have the energy to even think about calling our proverbial guy. To Silver Dollar we went.

After a day of rest and mostly not rest, Wednesday saw us back at Santi’s house because the CofC alumni crew had just arrived in town. Santi offered us more chips and salsa, but we refused. One can only take so much.

Which is why we ended up in France on Thursday. Well, France by way of the Bus Shed, that is. La Belle Époque was the theme for the Gibbes Museum of Art’s annual street party and it was just as you’d imagine. Picture every great restaurant downtown, Frenchified. We had an omelet from our latest James Beard-award winner Jason Stanhope, as well as a sampling of absinthe. No green fairy appeared, but we did feel like we’d shot Pine-Sol after one sip. Who actually likes that stuff? Who actually likes licorice? All those raising your hands, we want to take your names, put them in a hat, and draw a winner. We will go to the movies. You will be force-fed Twizzlers.

Cut to Saturday and the Charleston Affair where we also welcomed my family. Charleston Affair was great and we were really excited that Icebox was the libation provider. Armed with an odd take on sangria, we braved the dance floor before embarking to the after-party at Trio. Charleston Affair ran in two shifts this year, so the graduating seniors had their time as well on Sunday. Our graduation was in 2008 — after a victory lap — so we went back to Trio for their party too. There we were treated like a fresh (almost) graduate. How flattering.

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