Southern Charm S2 E9: Who's the biggest bitch of them all?

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If we were going to have to decide based on this episode, I’d have to say that Shep is the biggest bitch of the Southern Charm bunch. And that’s saying something. Cause this show has some serious bitches. Whitney being a close second followed closely by Kathryn and T-Rav.

After a weekend at Craig’s Delaware home, Shep has regressed into a passive-aggressive mean girl. The group heads down to Jekkyl Island for a hoity-toity weekend at the club house hotel at the invitation of Landon, and Shep dogs every step/drink/outfit that Craig makes/sips/wears. A bike ride to the beach turns into a bully session that’s hard to witness. Shep’s mean ways send Craig straight to Kathryn for some commiseration.

Kathryn continues to sit in the second car of the motorcade of T-Rav’s life. And her car might be taking a left at the next light, leaving Thomas to continue on his futile attempt at running for Senate. He’s off at the gay pride parade in Columbia while she’s down at the beach flirting with Craig and giving Whitney a beat-down on the big front porch. This might be the confrontation we’ve all been waiting for. Kathryn goes off on Whitney, a man she suspects of having malevolent motivation, when she overhears him and everyone else talking behind her back.

She pops off, getting in his face: “You don’t know shit. You came to our house and I was nine months pregnant and went to a strip club, you nasty *em-effer*. All I want you to do is *eff* off.”

Whitney nervously asks if she’s going to hit him, but she says she’s just trying to make her point known by getting all up in his face.

[embed-1]As the two go back and forth, the porch, a spot for polite chitchat, gets deserted by the rest of the Charmers, who, according to Landon, were literally raised better than that.

Yet another dig at Kathryn being low-class trash.

Meanwhile, Whitney tells Kathryn her heart is a black hole with a dollar sign, which really gets Kathryn riled up. Thomas gives her money? Get real. She wouldn’t be wearing these stupid pants from Target if that was the case.

The fight breaks up and Kathryn, Jennifer, and Craig head out to the sidewalk to drink and talk. Later, apparently, Craig and Kathryn take the golf cart to the beach and spend the night shivering on the sand. Cameran has learned that Craig dug a hole for Kathryn and put some fronds over it to keep her warm. Sounds like the latest episode of Naked and Afraid. Unfortunately, we don’t know what happened because apparently the Bravo cameramen left the couple unsupervised and they do not show us any footage of this romantic and sad scene.

The next day, the white people gather for a game of croquet on the lawn while Kathryn readies herself to leave. The group huddles up to gossip and someone stumbles upon the news that Thomas Ravenel has been accused of assault (via the City Paper website).

This is that time back in October when the cops were summoned to T-Rav’s downtown house by Kathryn’s stylist/hairdresser/friend, who claimed that T-Rav assaulted her and fell in the pool while holding the baby. Of course the real-life timeline does not jive with the TV timeline because in the City Paper report, Kathryn was at the house when this occurred, but on TV she was in Jekkyl Island. Reality TV is so confusing sometimes, isn’t it?

Back at the club house, the white people stand around and gossip about this latest news, saying that it should be hidden from Kathryn, but then Kathryn finds out and looks all distressed.

Whitney hints to JD that he thinks Kathryn is sabotaging Thomas’ campaign. Seems like these two manipulative monsters are fighting for control of Thomas. Gross.

Next week: More on Thomas’ interaction with Kathryn’s stylist. And then he loses his Senate campaign and gets drunk.