Blotter o’ the Week: After a man picked up his pizza from a downtown restaurant, the woman who had previously cut him in line slapped it out of his hands and onto the floor.

A North Central man caught a woman going into his porch and stealing a potted plant. When police questioned her, she said her friend asked her to bring him potted plants. Is this some sort of millennial dowry we’re not aware of?

When asked why he stole two iPads and a set of spare house keys from his neighbor’s house in West Ashley, a young man replied, “because I didn’t have any.”

A man told officers outside of a King Street bar that he was kicked out of the establishment three times and kept trying to go back in, until the bouncer punched him in the face “for no reason.”

Someone stole a black and white moped with “Wolf Islander” emblazoned on both sides of the seat from a man’s driveway. Apologies for your sudden lack of transportation, but this one might’ve been for the good of society.

A local journalist received a harassing phone call at work, which included homophobic slurs and threats of violence, from someone who disagreed with a news article. At CP, we encourage all trolls to place their misdirected rage onto our comments section.

Just a suggestion, CPD, the phrase “extremely intoxicated white male” should come with its own code abbreviation at this point.

A man stole close to 20 video games from a James Island department store by hiding them in his waistband, though he did drop one while leaving the establishment.

A homeless man told officers that a group of city employees in a truck stole his dog, which was tied to a pipe next to him.

A man unloaded six cases of beer from a shopping cart and into his getaway car. When confronted by a witness, he produced a receipt for a different grocery store before getting in the back seat and speeding off. A mildly sophisticated heist for a pair of broke drunks.

In a scene out of West Side Story, a group of 10 people were crowded around a street fight in Radcliffborough when officers arrested one of them for carrying a knife (and other possibly crippling weapons).

A woman who was sitting on the sidewalk on Columbus Street poured out a can of Edge beer and threw it behind her when she noticed a nearby officer. “It’s almost my birthday,” she explained. Her birthday is in April.

A belligerently drunk man almost walked away from a King Street bar scot-free after peppering guests and bar staff with random questions, except for the fact that he couldn’t contain himself and yelled, “Hey police! Fuck you!” as he opened his ride’s door.

As officers approached a man with a puddle at his feet and his belt unbuckled, his wife shouted, “I told you you just can’t pee anywhere!”

An officer Segway-chased a man running away from a drug store near CofC.

The organizer of Feb. 19’s #NoMoreExcuses rally against gun violence at Marion Square has been cited for holding a public event of 50 or more people without a proper permit, despite the fact that city staff was unavailable on President’s Day, the day of the rally.

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