The Blotter is taken from Charleston Police Department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

Blotter o’ the week: A woman was found peeing behind a dumpster near Meeting and Columbus streets. She apologized when an officer pointed out the portable toilet about 30 feet away from her.

A woman stopped twice to yell at an officer on a recent night on King Street. The officer later found her fighting with a man who was on the phone with a police dispatcher.

Officers responded to a call about a drunk woman who fell and slapped a bartender. She fell again after trying to hop on a stretcher and began cursing at staff at the hospital once she got there.

Recounting an earlier incident in which he was almost shot, a man told an officer, “If you’re going to shoot me, kill me.”

Over the course of a month, a woman’s ex-boyfriend has sent her 50 unwanted emails and about 20 gifts. He also sent her daughter a video of them having sex.

After he was told to leave, a man took a 24-ounce beer from a convenience store shelf and poured it over the clerk’s shirt and face. He dumped the rest on a car in the parking lot.

A man grabbed his waist and shouted, “We’ll see what my .45 has to say about that,” during a public altercation with a bar employee.

A woman wouldn’t leave her boyfriend, so her lover keyed “Fuck U Rat Bx” into her car and left a note on the windshield that read, “Bitch Fuck I’m going 2 Kill U Bitch for fucking with my heart.”

A couple told an officer they were pickpocketed by teenagers selling palmetto roses near the City Market. One of their wallets was later found by a vendor and returned.

This week in Victoria’s Secret thefts: Ten women walked into the King Street store in pairs and stole 13 bike shorts, 11 sports bras, six sweatshirts, and two sweatpants. Total value: $1,153.

A man suspected that his truck had been rifled through when he noticed his gun was missing.

A woman, who was already on trespass notice from a West Ashley grocery store parking lot, was arrested and held on $635 bond for panhandling in the area.

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