The Blotter is taken from Charleston Police Department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

Blotter o’ the week: On the Ashley River, a boat was left abandoned after the owner realized he couldn’t save it. When told how much it would be to pull the vessel out of the water, he told the boat towing company, “Fuck it. I’ll just sink it.”

Through “excited utterance,” a man revealed to police that he was carrying a firearm without a license. It was not stolen, and was put in an evidence locker. CPD transported the excited man to jail.

A West Ashley teen ran away from home. She texted her grandmother that she was drunk and wouldn’t come back. The girl has a history of running away from home, according to her grandmother and aunt.

A drone was seen hovering outside of a woman’s window one night. She observed a man on a golf cart near her house, as well. The victim believes that the two things are connected and informed CPD that she is being stalked.

A counterfeit $5 bill was found in a high school cafeteria. CPD interviewed a total of six different parties, including three juveniles, to find the source of the mystery meat currency.

A fire broke out at a campsite near Daniel Island. Arson investigators have begun looking at video footage from the adjacent parking lot to see if a crime was committed.

At a James Island gym, a man put his two 6-year-old daughters in the children’s area. They told the father that a man approached and hugged them while they were unattended. According to the gym staff, the offender has been known to frequently do this. Background checks showed that he is not a registered sex offender.

A party was broken up downtown. Speakers and flashing lights were set up inside the house because it was, presumably, a kick-ass shindig. When confronted by police, the offender said that “he did not mean for this to lead to a party.”

“Don’t Tread on Me” held up its reputation as a slogan used by rational people when it appeared printed on a man’s handgun during a drug arrest.

A woman found a fraudulent charge on her checking account from iTunes. To correct it, she contacted a fraudulent iTunes support number, which instructed her to send nearly $500 over the Zelle app.

A downtown fast food restaurant was given a Livability Citation for False Alarm. They have alerted CPD to 17 incidents which turned out to be false alarms, 13 of which resulted in official warnings from police. The food did not receive a livability citation.

Bomb technicians were dispatched when a man found a grenade on his back porch. The grenade was located on a shelf and was found to be an inert training grenade. The complainant believes that it belonged to his ex-roommate.

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