Blotter o’ the week: A man told officers that he was going to pay for the bag of chips he had stolen from a convenience store at a later date, but nobody values the honor system anymore it seems.

A woman’s cell phone was stolen after she set it on a shelf while shopping in the children’s section of a store. If women’s clothes had more practical pockets, tragedies like these wouldn’t happen.

A man pulled over for presumed drunk driving told the officer that he was coming from Greenville and was “at his destination.” After being read his rights, the man admitted to coming from Folly, the residence in front of him was not his, and he only stopped here because he thought he could get out of being pulled over.

When asked by an officer how much they had been drinking, a man in the driver’s seat of a car replied, “too much.”

Two neighborhood kids had their bicycles stolen a couple days before Thanksgiving. Some people just can’t wait for those Black Friday deals.

One woman hides the fact that she leaves her keys in the ignition of her car with some type of fabric. She recently reported that her vehicle had been stolen. The two facts here are probably unrelated.

A man was arrested for public intoxication after attempting to get the attention of citizens outside of a restaurant by poking them. Most people try not to draw attention to themselves when drunk.

A “known vagrant who abuses alcohol” was seen putting a small, clear mini bottle in his pocket. When asked by an officer what was inside, he revealed a mini bottle of 99 Peppermint. Apparently, these peppermints are not the sweet breath mints we know and love.

A stolen handgun was recovered after an impromptu foot-pursuit that started when a man suspiciously changed direction when walking through the mall after seeing police in the area.

From the Archives: A couple stole 12 bottles of Champagne, worth $658 in total, from a West Ashley grocery store for a New Year’s 2019 bash that’s sure to be impressive.

A Facebook-facilitated phone resell went awry when the seller met a potential buyer at the post office on East Bay Street. The buyer paid with $200 and, you guessed it, the bills were counterfeit.

A vehicle was reported missing after the victim said that the spare keys “may” have been left in the ignition, allowing the doors to be opened without the fob. This guy could stand to take some advice from the woman from earlier.

After your average night at Mynt, a man attempted to do a backflip off the wall of the building, and in doing so, fell into the side of his friend’s girlfriend’s vehicle, causing several dents to the passenger side. He said he would pay for it, but apparently, nobody believed him.

A burglar threw a rock “approximately the size of a football” through a cafe window. The burglar soon discovered that the cash register was empty, but did decide to help themselves to a $30 bottle of Grand Marnier that was sitting behind the bar.

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