Steve Stegelin

Blotter o’ the week: After a suspected dunk driver horrifically failed a field sobriety test, the officer asked if he had been drinking in the car. The driver replied, “Drink a little.” OK there, Yoda. You’ve clearly had more than a little.

Police reported that a man on a bicycle stole two orange pots from outside a downtown business. The report said the man also stole two plants, which were inside the pots. Just say “potted plants” guys. You are making this more complicated than it needs to be.

Drug equipment was seized from a motorist in West Ashley. Try to guess their age from the belongings: marijuana seeds, a weed grinder and seven vape pods. If you said “underage,” then you are correct. Your prize is another blotter entry.

A West Ashley man couldn’t pick up his girlfriend’s car to have it detailed while she was away on vacation because he had to undergo surgery from “several medical complications.” If that wasn’t a good enough reason to miss out on doing a favor for your significant other, turns out the car was reported stolen when he was able to pick it up.

A man shot himself in the hand while cleaning his firearm at a James Island apartment complex. The man just finished the cleaning, popped the magazine in the handgun and accidently pulled the trigger. Officers noted he was calm, cooperative and embarrassed. Probably time for another cleaning.

A moped-mounted man reported to a patrolling officer that another person attempted to sell him cocaine. When the officer approached the suspected blow barterer, the man told the officer that he had only offered to smoke some CBD with the coke dealer, and showed the officer his bag of weed. He was then fined for possession.

A man told police his stolen Jeep had a Myrtle Beach Jeep Club sticker and a rear tire cover with two characters on it with one saying to the other, “Hang on, I got this.” (He didn’t have it anymore.)

One woman’s (ex-) boyfriend reportedly asked to borrow her (now former) car to drive to work a few weeks ago. The boyfriend — rather, ex — has not been heard from since.

Two passengers of a car involved in an accident denied owning a backpack on the ground nearby when questioned by police. That was probably a good move, since it was full of weed.

Police responded to a group of people reportedly selling drugs out of their black Dodge Charger. More interesting than the drugs themselves is the car of choice — what is it about black Chargers that make people want to break the law? Do the cars come outfitted with digital scales and cool-guy sunglasses?

Security footage caught a man crawling underneath another man’s Ford F-150 truck and appearing a bit later with a “large object” in his hands. Turns out, this grifting gearhead made off with the truck’s catalytic converter, which explains the truck’s “extremely loud” exhaust. Can’t wait to see this thief’s latest garage build.

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