Illustration by Steve Stegelin

Blotter of the week: Someone stole $6,000, two iPhones, some ADHD medication and a Smith & Wesson revolver from a backpack of a downtown resident on June 12. The victim claimed his ex-girlfriend, an exotic dancer, took the backpack and gave police her stage name. This one shouldn’t be too tough to follow up on. Cancel Lt. Columbo.

Communication is key

A man called Charleston police June 16 to report that his 2018 Volkswagen Jetta had a scratch about 5 inches long on the hood where it was parked near Hampton Park. Someone left a card on the car that read, “You park like an a$$hole.” At least he got an explanation. 

You catch more flies with honey

When a policeman walked up to a man sleeping on a bench downtown June 16, the man started urinating. The officer asked him to stop peeing and identify what was protruding from his pants pocket. The man admitted it was paraphernalia before he revealed a broken glass pipe with burnt residue. Since he was polite and cooperative, the officer cited him instead of arresting him.

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