Illustration by Steve Stegelin

Blotter of the week: An officer responded July 9 at the downtown residence of a man who claimed his ex-girlfriend shattered his $500 Venetian glass sculpture. The ex-girlfriend admitted to police that she threw the sculpture out of frustration. The man told police he wanted to report her for stealing her own engagement ring. Police said the two would have to settle that issue privately. Sounds like that’s not going to happen. 

Late for a very important date
A man forcefully pulled up the mechanical garage arm of a downtown parking garage as he was trying to get his Kia Soul out on July 9 and ended up causing $2,000 worth of damage to the machine. Wonder where he was headed in such a hurry. 

Follow your dreams
A car dealership manager in West Ashley reported July 9 to police that a man tried to buy two 2022 Maseratis with fake paperwork that claimed he was waiting on money from a trust. The day before, he asked to test drive a model and drove so erratically that the sales associate had to cut it short. According to the dealership, the man was trying to buy a $150,763 Quattroporte and a $98,333 Levante. At least he’s living his best life (in his head). 

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