Illustration by Steve Stegelin

Reports taken from Feb. 22 to March 4

Ye Olde Ordinance

Charleston police on Feb. 22 confiscated a Civil War-era cannon ball from a downtown woman after she found it while gardening in her backyard. Good call, officers. If we had a cannon ball in the office, the temptation to rush it to Fort Moultrie to test the cannons would be far too great to ignore.ย 

Very expensive cardboard

A Mount Pleasant man on Feb. 22 reportedly tried to steal several packs of trading cards from a Mount Pleasant department store by stuffing them into the sleeves of a puffer jacket (also stolen). The value of the cards was determined to be about $112, but since he didnโ€™t open them, the contents could have been a total of $3.50 or over $2,000. Thereโ€™s just no way to know. 

Patience ran out

A drunken College of Charleston student on Feb. 23 couldnโ€™t maintain his footing on the downtown Charleston sidewalks, even with the help of an officer who offered to walk him back to his dorm. When he kept stumbling โ€” into the road, by the way โ€” the officer finally gave up and arrested him for public intoxication. 

Thatโ€™s not going to hold up

North Charleston police on March 4 responded to a Dorchester Road department store where the manager told officers he believed $70 of merchandise had been stolen. No security footage captured, the theft, and the suspectโ€™s vehicle (which the manager described as a black Hyundai) had a tag registered to a Jeep Wrangler out of Hopkins, S.C. 

Not quite summer-ready

Two men on Feb. 26 attempted to steal three Yeti coolers from a King Street store with a total value of $825, but the store owner reportedly chased the two men down the street until they dropped the coolers, which were returned to the store. Planning a beach day is difficult enough โ€” adding a heist plan to it just sounds exhausting.


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