Reports taken from Dec. 4 to Dec. 18
Can’t touch this
A Charleston woman wearing pink slippers and a matching shower cap on Dec. 4 reportedly stole about $850 in merchandise from a King Street department store. Security footage showed her taking four tablets and two sweatshirts from the shelves and leaving, telling another shopper, “Don’t touch me,” on her way out.
Thoughtful, sort of
Charleston police on Dec. 16 stopped a downtown woman after finding her completely nude in Marion Square about 2 a.m. The woman reportedly told police she planned on bathing in the water fountain. We appreciate her waiting until the wee hours so she could have some privacy and spare any potential onlookers. Nevertheless, police cited her for indecent exposure.
Time to find a better spot
A North Charleston woman on Dec. 18 told police her house was broken into, and $750 in cash was taken from inside. Police noted $250 was taken from “the top of her refrigerator,” and $500 from inside her closet. The closet we understand, but the top of the refrigerator definitely doesn’t seem like the most secure spot to hide cash. We guess she was never great at hide-and-seek either.
Merry unbirthday
Charleston police on Dec. 16 stopped a downtown man walking in a foggy Meeting Street roadway. Police asked the man for his name and birthday, but he only told officers his first name and repeatedly said he “didn’t have a birthday.” We know he was probably just drunk, but we like to think he just enjoys celebrating his unbirthday every day with the ol’ Hatter.
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