Illustration by Steve Stegelin Credit: Steve Stegelin

Reports taken from May 3 to May 10

Neighborly advice

A Mount Pleasant man on May 10 called town police to tattle on his neighbor who he claimed was smoking out of a bong and shooting a BB gun in his backyard. The man told police he didn’t want to press charges (OK, but?) or get his neighbor into legal trouble (really?). Police talked to the neighbor, who denied having smoked any illegal substances. They gave him a warning about the BB gun. 

Humble tastes

A Charleston man on May 3 reportedly attempted to steal a pair of sunglasses from a King Street store, but employees stopped him before he left. According to police, the man took the sunglasses out of his pocket, returned them and left. The kicker, though, is that the particular pair he tried to take sells for $34. We’ve seen stolen sunglasses worth 10 times that. Props to him for being frugal!

Side effects

Mount Pleasant homeowners on May 8 sent town police footage — captured by their Ring doorbell and saved automatically to the cloud — of a bunch of kids ding-dong-ditching their house. Man, the internet and other technological advancements really ruined kids’ childhoods in more ways than one. 

Immediately?

Charleston police on May 6 stopped to observe a man they suspected was about to “discreetly” urinate near a Calhoun Street sidewalk. When they approached, the man reportedly told them, “Don’t look at me.” Officers warned him not to do it, but the man didn’t listen. So officers “immediately” detained him when he began urinating. (We hope they didn’t turn toward them when he was doing his business.) Nice try, buddy, but you’re not the boss here! 


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