Reports taken from July 31 to Aug. 3
That’s an omen
North Charleston police on July 31 responded to a Lacross Road business after receiving reports of a potential burglary in progress. According to a report, police arrived to find the front door open and watched two “buzzards” fly out of the top window of the building. Officers conducted a search of the business, but found nothing suspicious — aside from the birds. Where’s Hitchcock when you need him?
Tough getaway
A North Charleston man on Aug. 2 told city police that a man entered the convenience store to buy a cigar. When he asked the man for his ID, he reportedly pulled a gun and threatened the employee. He then left the store, riding off on an “electric stand-up scooter.” Yippee-kai-yay! We know he had a gun and all, but how do you stop yourself from laughing at that getaway vehicle?
Doesn’t count
Mount Pleasant police on July 31 arrested a man for shoplifting after he admitted to officers he walked out of a Proprietors Place department store without paying for a large battery. The man was confused, however, as he told officers that employees stopped him from leaving, and he eventually returned the battery before fleeing on his bicycle. His argument: It doesn’t count if he didn’t succeed. Tell it to the judge, buddy.
Good luck
An apparently drunken Mount Pleasant man on Aug. 2 reportedly tried to “square up” with passing vehicles on Coleman Boulevard. Police arrived after he tried to fight the cars driving in the roadway and determined he recently ran from a bar (without paying for his drinks, to add to the list) after punching himself in the head a few times. Yeah, we’re going to need to know what he was drinking, we’ll add it to the list for next year’s Best of Charleston party.
Wasted talents
A North Charleston man on Aug. 3 stole four cases of alcoholic drinks from a West Montague Avenue convenience store, according to a North Charleston police report. A store employee told police the man grabbed the cases and “ran” out of the store before being picked up in a car. You know, anyone who can throw four cases of beer over their shoulders and run anywhere should probably be doing something better with their lives. Maybe the Olympics?
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