Reports taken from Aug. 16 to Aug. 30
We’ll write it down, but …
A North Charleston man on Aug. 29 told city police that someone stole his bicycle from outside his Remount Road residence. The bike is described as gray, with a ripped brown seat, no grips on the handlebars and designer-patterned white-wall tires. Look, dude, level with us. This is just about the tires, right?
Try again
A downtown woman on Aug. 16 told Charleston police that she left her vehicle running with the keys in it to “cool it off” before leaving for work in the morning. Ten minutes later, when she returned, according to a report, the car was turned off and the keys were missing. A witness said she saw a man standing “around the vehicle.” Dude: You were so close, man! We figured you’d take the car.
Better than the other way around
North Charleston police on Aug. 30 arrested a man for public intoxication after receiving reports that he was “harassing” women and “dry humping” a nearby pole outside a Rivers Avenue store. The store owner also said he might have stolen a beer, but couldn’t be certain. Don’t worry, we think the harassment and the humping was good enough to call the cops.
Sounds about right
Charleston police on Aug. 17 responded to a high-end King Street fashion shop after employees said a man spent about a minute in the store and left with a crossbody bag worth about $2,000. Security footage reportedly caught the man on video, and the investigation is ongoing. Geez, two grand for a purse? Who’s the real thief in this situation? And what does that say about disposable income around here?
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