The Blotter is taken from City of Charleston police department reports. We’ve added a cartoon and a little commentary. We’ve added a little humor, too. No one has been found guilty. This is not a court of law.

Blotter Voicemail O’ The Week: “I know what you did. You will be sorry for it.”

On July 27, two men entered an East Bay Street liquor store and picked out bottles of Grey Goose, Courvousier, Remy Martin, and pear brandy. They immediately ran out of the store and hopped into a waiting truck that sped away, probably to Kevin Federline’s CD release party.

A man was found passed out in a Sam Ritt. bookstore restroom after closing on July 29. Paramedics woke him up and escorted him outside, where he became belligerent and unruly. “You are a fucking asshole,” he said to cops while spitting in their faces. “Fuck you.”

A man entered a Magwood Road bank wearing dark sunglasses and a hat. When a teller asked him to remove the accoutrements, he said, “No. Let me tell you this is a robbery. I have a gun and I want money with no dye.” The teller gave him cash, and he made it out of the bank before police arrived.

A young man was approached in a local mall by 16 to 20 teenage boys on July 30. They challenged him to a fight and called him a “kike.” The victim said he didn’t know the subjects and was unsure of their names. We’ve got a name for ya … Mel Gibson.

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