I think I finally understand Nikki Haley. I think I finally have her figured out. I think I finally grasp how she makes it through the day and manages to never hear a single word her critics say, how she never stops for a second and reflects on her failures and her mistakes. And for that insight, I have to thank her sister, Simran Singh.

As many of you know, Simmi is a new age guru of some import — not that I really know how to gauge that sort of thing. I mean, she has a web radio show and a magazine and a blog and CDs and books. I would like to think that amounts to something, although I have a funny suspicion that shit’s included in the Cult of Personality Starter Kit, but I could be wrong.

But I’m not wrong about Nikki. Nope. And I know in my heart of hearts that one of Simran’s April 18 Facebook posts sums up Haley’s ability to go through life wearing blinders. Yesterday, Singh wrote:

Thought creates tension in the body. The mere act of thinking creates a strain in the brain, neck muscles and constriction within the body. Don’t think to [sic] much. It is hazardous to your health and is overrated.

Wow. Thinking is overrated and bad for your health. Yeah. That sounds like Nikki.

Oh. And while I’m at it here are a few of Singh’s most recent Facebook posts. I must warn you: This is pure and uncut new-age gobbledygook. If you don’t have a high tolerance for this shit, it will scramble your brains.

Facebook post 1:

I know and I AM. In my everpresent worth is a neverending well of love that is fed by a river of compassion that runs through the land of forgiveness in which there are monuments of authenticity that speak the truth that I AM. My world from this day forward reflects the beauty that I AM… (Let yourself know your vast truth)

Facebook post 2:

These may be challenging times and I may encounter many defining moments… It is why I am here and it is always life being in service to me. In me being in service to me, I continue moving… If I cannot run, I walk… When I cannot walk, I crawl… If I cannot crawl, I lay my forehead to the ground and pray… if my mind won’t let me pray, I breathe… If my body does not let me breathe,I cry… In my tears, I cleanse the moment and my Spirit stands again. It is the self-perpetuating circle of strength that I AM, experiencing me to the fullest.

Talk about second rate Kahlil Gibran. Ugh.

But that bunch of new-age wackadoo-doo ain’t got nothing on the moonbattery that Singh posted on her blog on March 20:


In 2007, I found myself in a place I had never imagined myself to be… alone, lifeless, without an identity or a purpose… having lost everything that held meaning.

I found myself sinking deeply into my own numbness. The 11′s, 111′s and 11:11′s began appearing incessantly, as many as twenty times a day… a language I had as a child, but had forgotten.

After several weeks of this, I became very angry, “Either tell me what you want or make them stop!”

In that moment, a complete issue of 11:11 Magazine downloaded into my head, cover to cover, word for word, every image and page. Then I heard the words…

“Do this now… You will heal and others will heal.”

That is exactly what happened… and is still happening… and much more.

I am ‘Devoted to the Journey of the Soul’… my own and that of the collective. Through my series of Dark Nights, I have been gifted with insight, expansive creativity, and expression.

The Soul is my muse… its journey… me, as experience, experiencing the expansiveness of me.

In that expansive expression, I am inspired to create beauty, love, conversation, community & connection.

I had to die in order to live. I had to let go to understand what I had been holding onto. I had to fall, so that I could fly.

It was ‘my right’ to have the dark nights… in fact, ‘a gift’… that I may awaken from the slumber of the walking dead.

I share that truth openly and lovingly, because we are all one. We are mirrors of one another… pieces and parts of the Greater One.

We are ONE…

We are the ONES…

We are THE ONE.

11:11 symbolizes a gateway between physical & spiritual, positive & negative, limitation & expansiveness, unity & separation.

11′s – The Universe is winking, saying you are supported, protected and loved.

111′s – You are being asked to monitor your thoughts… only focus upon the outcome you most desire.

11:11′s – Time to wake up, step into your true nature & be responsible to and for your actions, thoughts, words and behaviors.

WE are ALL Masters…

Masters walking…

Masters waiting…

Masters hiding…

Masters sleeping.

Most of all, we are Master Pieces here to discover how to be Master Peace.

With Love, In Love and Of Love… I AM Simran

Yeah. Put that shit in your pipe and smoke it.

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