Blotter o’ the Week: A woman brought her child along in the shopping cart for a $115 clothes shoplifting spree.

A man walked out to his Jeep and realized that someone had stolen his checkbook, an $80 sweater, and a $250 pair of leather shoes from inside. In exchange, the thief had left four fudge brownies in the front passenger seat. Doesn’t seem like a fair trade.

When police responded to a report of a stabbing, they found the victim lying at the bottom of a staircase with a stab wound in the center of his chest. A woman sitting on the stairs claimed responsibility and told police they could find the knife in either her kitchen or her bedroom. It was in her bedroom.

As police walked up to a parked SUV, they noticed three things: the pile of vomit on the ground outside the driver’s door, the aroma of burnt weed coming out the window, and the smell of alcohol on the driver’s breath. The driver said he had been drinking that evening and was trying to “sleep it off.”

A taxi driver got in an argument with a co-worker about the dispatching of vehicles and ended up punching the co-worker in the head.

The Things They Shoplifted: A pair of headphones, a woman’s jacket, a child’s jacket, a hat, $430.54 worth of jewelry, and at least five packs of cigarettes.

A person hired to rake a side yard found two 12-gauge shotgun shells under the leaves.

Police saw a man on the sidewalk nervously hiding something in his jacket pocket. They confronted him about it, and it turned out it was an open can of beer.

Somebody stole a purse containing 60 Ritalin pills and eight suboxone strips, used for fighting opiate dependence. Here’s to fighting old habits and starting new ones.

Cops made 10 alcohol-related arrests during a single concert at a downtown music venue — and Toby Keith wasn’t even in town.

When the shoplifting alarm went off in a record store, an employee confronted a man who had just walked out, but he said it was only the bolt in his leg tripping off the security system. As he rolled up his pant leg to show where the metal was, the employee spotted two stolen packages of incense in the man’s back pants pocket.

Police collared three people walking down the sidewalk drinking from bottles of vodka and bum wine, but the clueless clandestine quaffers tried to get off the hook for an open-container violation by pouring their drinks on the ground. No such luck.

On the patio at a downtown bar, an unbelievably drunk patron peed in a trash can in front of multiple employees.

Somebody went into a hotel room and stole some luggage and electronics. Somewhere along the way, the thief also broke off the bathroom towel rod, just for good measure.

After being awoken in his vehicle, which was stopped in traffic with the engine running, a drunk driver hit the gas and nearly rear-ended a fire truck that was parked in front of him.

Amateur Doctor o’ the Week: A man said it would be unsafe for his sister to walk to the convenience store because she was five months pregnant.

An impatient driver who was stuck behind a CARTA trolley bus blew his horn and then drove up on the curb, sideswiping the bus. Driving downtown: It’s slow, and there are no shortcuts.

Before a soccer game, a father slipped his son a “little blue pill” that doctors later determined to be Adderall, for which his son did not have a prescription. When the mother questioned the father about it, he said it was a multivitamin.

A drunk college girl blew chunks in the backseat of a police cruiser. It was her second arrest for using a fake ID.

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